Employee of the month: Eldobra the emotion recycler

Hey! I am working furiously on Chapter 3 of “Last one off the planet” but that will take a bit more time.  I hope I can entertain you with this little episode I came up with to make myself laugh a bit during a, particularly stressful day. 

Eldobra groaned and scrunched her soft face in 100 deep wrinkles. 

“Aaaaaaaagggh! What is that smell?!”

“It is the last load that came in.”

“Why does it reek so bad?”

“It comes from the earth. The humans are exceptionally behind in processing their emotions so you get all the raw stench delivered straight.”

“By Comora and the 7 sisters, can’t somebody send them a manual?”

“We tried. We tried the Messiah, Da Vinci, the plague, the internet, the plague again – they don’t learn.  So we are getting a filter delivered from the 7th moon to preprocess at least the guilt before it gets here. It always clogs everything up.”

“What is taking them so long?!”

“You want to complain or get to work? Then the air will clear out”

“Fine fine fine …” she waved one of her tentacles at the shift manager and removed the heavy neckless of black shimmering rocks and set it on a little table that was just next to the door she had stepped through earlier.  

Eldobra went to work. She was a recycler.  She is the intestines of this universe, but it is not food or atomic waste she consumes. No! She takes care of our energy, juju, emotions, thoughts, and intents. Intents went through her like nothing, because that’s what they are.

The feelings are collected by those little street sweeper buggies, the vents of manicure tables and all air condition systems installed before 2008. They are compressed into tanks and then transported via spaceships to the processing plant. This is the space equivalent of an earth oil tanker. You see bottled, compressed and unprocessed emotions are highly explosive but you surely knew that.

Eldobra lowered herself in the pool. The pool is connected to an intricate pipe system. All of the raw emotions are funneled to the pool and once she is done they can be bottled up again and shot out into space. She absorbs, resolves and release. A detail of the energy equation that not many are being taught in school.

“I will be starving after this! Order me lunch!”

“Princess…”

“What did you say?!”

“Nothing- you’re the best!”

“As if I have a choice…”

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